Yes, I’m Depressed, No I’m Not Giving Up! – 5 Lessons About Depression…

how to cope with depression naturally
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understanding depression

Disclaimer

Please always remember that there is no quick fix for any mental health issue. In order to overcome it, you have to address your problem and ask for help a mental health professional. There are many mental health institutions where you can find professional support. Suffering in secret is never a good idea. Mental health professionals are out there to help people with any type of mental health issue. Don’t minimize your problems, sometimes everyone needs help and there is nothing to be ashamed of. If you find it difficult to go to the mental health institution just call a helpline (you can easily find a number online and it’s free!)

Remember you are not alone even if you feel this way. Many people have mental health problems especially in today’s world where it becomes more and more difficult to cope with stress and anxiety.


depression is like having an abusive relationship with yourself

I couldn’t agree more. It’s hard to notice red flags in the early beginning of this incredibly complicated relationship. The warning signs like sadness, fatigue, loss of energy, sleep or appetite changes can be easily ignored or mistaken for other condition. Not to mention the social stigma associated with mental health problems that certainly makes things worse. Honestly, I think that because of the stigmatization of mental illnesses and disorders lots of people although suffering, do not seek help. It’s just tearing me apart because most of the mental and physical health conditions can be easily treated if detected at an early stage. That’s why it’s so important to develop self-awareness and increase attentiveness. These skills are essential in creating a healthy relationship with yourself and understanding your needs, values, and beliefs. Furthermore, they will help you to set healthy boundaries with others that will protect you from misunderstandings and false beliefs invalidating your condition. I am thinking, in particular about common misconceptions about mental health issues that lots of people believe are true. I don’t know about you, but I myself have heard some incredibly ridiculous stuff when I was talking about depression or anxiety with people who apparently didn’t know anything about these mental health conditions. Definitely, my favorites are:

  • “Just stop worrying everything will be ok”
  • “Stop exaggerating, people have bigger problems than you”
  • “Couldn’t you just think about something else?”
  • “Just smile and you will feel better”
  • “It’s all in your head just stop thinking about it”
  • “Go do something that will make you laugh”
  • “Come on, don’t act like a victim. Now, get your sh*t together and stop overanalyzing things. Just keep busy, don’t look back. Live your life. Go running or something…” – highly personalized but it’s a real example…

I mean, really, the list goes on.  I really think that I could write a book titled: “How NOT to talk with a depressed person” and maybe I will…

So basically, for most of the people if you are depressed you just have to think about something else because apparently, it could be much worse… Yeap, it’s exactly how it works. If you are severely depressed you just need to smile and pretend that everything is all right. Because what could be better than having a big, fake smile plastered on your face when all you want to do is just sit and cry? Just shake it off and move on! Yeap, it’s exactly how it works. Duh! Why didn’t I think of that? It would have saved me a lot of time…

Anyway, the point is that depression is more than a low mood. It’s not a joke or a personal choice. Depression is a serious illness, a complex health condition that has to be treated properly. Otherwise, it will slowly take control of your mind, body, and spirit. Depression has this ability to suck your life out of you slowly draining your physical, mental and spiritual energy. And more importantly, it can happen to anyone, regardless of a personal background, religious beliefs, economic or social status.

That’s why it is so important to spread awareness about mental health because we live in times where mental health issues are on the rise. Just look around, more people than ever suffer mental ill health. And all of these people need to know that there is always hope! Giving up is really not the option! Why? Well. I will tell you why. Because there is always some solution. Some good solution. 

there aren't no-win scenarios in life

Because friends, I don’t believe in no-win scenarios in life. There’s always a way out. Sometimes all you need is to just calm down and take a couple of deep breaths. Other times writing your thoughts and feelings down helps to think things through again. Personally, I always try to look at things from an entirely different perspective and to do that I talk about my problem with others.

Every time I fell like I can’t go on I stop. I stop exactly where I am. Then I take a couple of deep breaths and when I start to feel calmer and more comfortable I say to myself: I am strong because I chose to be strong. And I try not to think whether it is my conscious choice or the only option I have. Sometimes it really does not matter. In moments like this, it’s the end result that counts, not how you get there. You need to survive at any cost. It’s all that matters. Even if it means that you have to lose something along the way. Everything comes at a cost of something. You need to sacrifice in order to achieve something.

No pain, No gain

If you want to succeed, you need to give up on an easy life. It’s just how it works. When life starts going to hell it’s time to act. You will have to sacrify, compromise maybe even alter the rules of the game a bit to survive. The moment like this requires to exploit the power of your mind. You just cannot give up. You have to fight for your life. It’s not the time for a self-pity but for a personal growth. You think you can’t handle it? That’s a bullsh*t! Of course, you can! Even if your inner voice tells you exactly the opposite. If you hear the voice in your head telling you that you will never make it, just tell this voice to shut the f*ck up. It’s your mind playing tricks on you. You need to silence a bit this voice. And the best way to do it is to act, get busy, do something that makes you feel a bit beet, distract or distance yourself from the situation (in a healthy way). It’s incredibly important especially if you suffer from depression and anxiety because these two mental health conditions can really make your mind plays tricks on you. And as we all know it’s not too far from there to a complete madness. That’s why it’s extremely important to act before the situation worsens. There is no time to lose. If you start feeling low act immediately.

how to cope with intrusive thoughts

I don’t know about you but when I feel hopeless a lot of stupid thoughts come to my mind and I start to beat myself up. And in order to minimalize the risk and avoid this dubious pleasure of indulging in negative self-talk, I swing into action. Yes, I act before my situation worsens. I’ve learned to do that. It’s my mental survival kit. It’s never easy and it takes effort but it’s worth it. And you know what? You are doing this for yourself. I’ve learned that to make me feel better when I feel like a cr*p first I need to challenge my negative self-talk and negative thoughts. It’s the first step. Of course, it’s never easy but it exactly what you have to do. You can make it easier on yourself or you can make it harder. The choice is always yours.

When I feel hopeless I two famous quotes as my positive affirmations:

You never know how strong you are until being strong is your only choice.
– Bob Marley


That which does not kill me makes me stronger

-Friedrich Nietzsche

depression is like drowning

It’s all about an attitude adjustment. If you’re going to win this fight you have to know your enemy first. You need to know the rules. Or accept that they may not be the rules at all. Depends on the situation. Most of the time when depression kicks hard it life becomes like a rollercoaster ride. Keep your eyes open and hold on tight and you will survive. If you won’t let it it will not destroy you. But remember you have to have an idea what you’re up against.

how to deal with depression

Lesson first: Never disrespect your opponent.

Depression sneaks up on you. It sniffs out and targets your vulnerabilities. It affects your critical thinking, behavior, the way you perceive and experience the world and of course your relationship with others, especially with your loved ones. And how it does it? Well, by stripping away everything that makes you happy. It sabotages your talents, hobbies, interests, friendships, and relationships. It takes control of your personal and professional life.

It never gives up until you start to feel like a stranger to yourself. Until you slowly lose interest in your desires, needs and wants. You start compromising your life satisfaction and fulfillment and of course your happiness… Then you lose your sense of purpose and you start feeling hopeless. It happens because depression drains you mentally and physically until you stop feeling like a human being but more like a living corpse.  

I think that the worst thing is that depression hits hard when you least expect it to. It doesn’t ask for permission nor waits for you to be ready to repel the attack and leap to safety. No, nothing like that. It just shows up out of nowhere, unwanted like an uninvited guest, a persona non grata and has the nerve to sit in the middle of the table right in front of your face. So rude. If it was a random person you could just ask him/her to leave and it should work. But not in this case. Unfortunately.

Depression is like drowning in sadness. You just wish someone could keep your head above water and don’t let you drown to death. Even for a little while so you could take one more breath and save yourself. But then comes net wave and another one. And you are still trying to keep your head above water…

Depression is like looking at the world through the glass window. You can only watch others live out their lives until you decide to take charge of your life. Until you decide to fight for you life. 

Acknowledge The Problem, But Live In The Solution

Lesson two: Acknowledge you have a problem.

Depression is brutally honest. First, it will find your vulnerabilities and then it will attack them one by one till you acknowledge its existence. Which basically means that if you keep denying its presence it will become your worst enemy. But if you accept the fact that you suffer and you may need some help it will be much easier to cope with it. It happens because acceptance is the first step to recovery, that’s the fact. But you have to make the decision first. It’s a choice between fighting an endless battle or acknowledging a problem. The former option is doomed to failure, the latter is the first step towards its solution. But you have to make this choice first. It depends on you how you chose to live this real-life experience.

The downside of denying

Lesson three: The downside of denying.

If denial is your modus operandi your situation can only get worse. It happens because living in a state of denial does not resolve anything. Instead, it can easily make your situation even worse. You can’t solve a problem until you admit you have one. It makes sense, right? Yeah, I know easier said than done.

I myself was struggling to admit that I suffered from depression and anxiety because I just didn’t want to deal with it. I lived in a state of denial because I just wanted to live a normal life like everybody else. Because of course, I thought that I was the only one to have this kind of problem. Now when I think about this I feel a little sorry for myself. Because thinking that you are the only one who suffers is so selfish, stupid and just pathetic. Please, don’t do it. This road leads to nowhere.

personal growth

Lesson four: Problems are opportunities to grow as a person.

A really hard time in life happens to teach us something important about life and ourselves. Your problems are not a punishment from God, life, universe etc. Problems are opportunities. It depends on how you look at this. I chose to look at my problems as an opportunity to grow as a person, to become more humble, respectful and grateful. I chose to use them to my advantage. You can do the same. Sometimes hitting the rock bottom is not only inevitable but also necessary for a person to be reborn again. Don’t miss the chance…

Learn the art of asking for help

Lesson five: Learn the art of asking for help.

If you feel you cannot handle your problems all by yourself ask for help. And let me tell you asking for help reveals strength, not weakness. Admitting that you can not handle your problems by yourself it’s not a personal failure but an act of courage. Asking for help is an act of self-compassion, self-kindness, and self-love. Asking for help means being mindful and understanding the importance of human connection. We as human beings are not designed to live in isolation nor coping with everything by ourselves. None of that stuff.

Human connection is one of the most beautiful experiences that can happen in your life. But to make it happen to have to make the first step. You need to learn to ask for help and be grateful when you receive it. If you want to have an opportunity to be heard you need to listen to others first. Sometimes you have to give something in order to get something back…

Of course, there’s never a guarantee but you’ll never know unless you try. If you meet with rejection is ok. Yes, rejection hurts, but it doesn’t have to hold you back. Maybe you’ve chosen an inappropriate way or the wrong person. Don’t let it get you down. Because it’s the exact moment when you need to be tough and stay strong. It’s your opportunity to grow as a person. Use your problems and difficult situation to your advantage. Use every obstacle you find on your path to psychological growth and spiritual development. And remember that

If you find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn’t lead anywhere.

– Frank A. Clark

Take care

Stay strong

and never give up!

x Kate

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Invisibly Me
Guest

Such a poignant post with lots of good points to consider, and I think that recognising it’s an issue is, although seemingly quite obvious, a good one because you can get into the spiral and not notice how far down you’ve gone. I also love that finishing quote, that’s very true and a good way of seeing how depression can be a turning point, a way for change and growth. Caz xx

Aixa
Member
Aixa

I think I might be guilty of saying a couple of these misconceptions 😳 It can be difficult to understand someone who’s going through this. I understand the negative times and how you can run into a lot of bad thoughts. Definitely not a time to make decisions but not even a time to try to figure things out. It’s a time to put off thinking about the situation until you’re feeling better.

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Hey, I’m Kate. I am a blogger with a holistic & mindful approach to life. If I am not here it’s because I’m enjoying my creamy cappuccino in one of my favourites coffee shops… 😎

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