If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.
– Maya Angelou
Stop trying to control every aspect of your life
Sometimes our plans don’t turn out the way we expected and we have to accept this. One in a while things go terribly wrong for us. In other moments reality is even better than we imagined. We plan our future without realizing that some things under certain circumstances may be unrealistic or even impossible to accomplish. Is this always a bad thing? Honestly, I think not. Furthermore, life constantly alters our plans and goals to give us a new perspective, different opportunities to fulfill our destiny. Sometimes not knowing what will happen is the best thing we are experiencing. Why? Because it forces us to get out of our comfort zone. And let me tell you something. Great things happen just outside the comfort zone. So get your act together and make a one-step outside.
Feeling uncomfortable and a little bit anxious? Hold on. Remember that sometimes to lose balance for change is a part of a balanced life. It’s scary, confusing, unplanned and frustrating but at the same time, it’s incredibly exciting, mysterious and really interesting. Do you need more reasons to take this risk?
But what if I fail?
Seems weird but in some cases failing to get our goals can be the best thing that ever happened to us. You know what I am talking about because we all have been there… more than once. So what you should do when things don’t turn out how you’d hoped, planned or expected? Well, first of all, don’t freak out and don’t let the disappointment to blind you. Remember that anger and haste are a bad counselor. Take some time to reflect. Don’t emotionally react but instead try to respond consciously to the situation your life put you in. Act according to the principle that:
Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it. – Charles R. Swindoll
Even if it’s hard to accept, this is the true nature of life. We can try to convince yourself and others that our life is the result of our own decisions. And yes it’s partially true but there are many other different factors involved in the course of life that are completely out of our control. Life is this incredible blend of free will and causal determinism where a small percentage of what we are experiencing is actually caused by us and the rest, the overwhelming majority is our response to what has happened to us, completely beyond our control.
Life is weird, strange, surprising and unpredictable. As a result, some things just happen out of nowhere. Sometimes we just have to trust the Universe and face bravely the reality even if it’s completely different than we expected. Even if the situation we found ourselves in causes us much suffering. This is the exact moment when we have to manage ourselves and most likely change our attitude. In most cases, we know exactly what we should do or at least we have some idea of what we can do to not worsen our current situation. The truth is that every potentially critical situation can be managed and most of the problems can be easily solved if we adopt a right mindset.
Problems are opportunities
Absurd as it may seem, life teaches us to see problems as opportunities. And it depends only on us if we want to learn this lesson. Besides, what another choice we have? Of course, we can just sit and play the victim. We can be resentful and spend all our energy on finding someone else to blame. However, that would be the easiest thing to do and certainly, it won’t fix anything.
But what if you open your mind to creative problem-solving thinking instead? Since you’ve already found yourself in a potentially disastrous situation what keeps you from taking the risk and changing your mindset to see problems as opportunities? Just try, follow these steps and see what happens:
- Stop being resentful when things go wrong
- Remember that complaining makes things even worse
- Stop letting your expectations feed your frustrations
- Accept that problems are inevitable
- Distance yourself from the problem
- Accept that suffering is an important part of life
- Learn to respond consciously instead of reacting emotionally
- Get yourself together and stand up solidly
- Try to reduce your suffering
- Manage your insufficient present condition
- Learn your lesson
Stand up solidly
Problems are indeed an opportunity to learn, grow, improve and create the best version of ourselves. These are only some of many other benefits of this simple mentality you will have to find by yourself. But first, you have to switch from “victim mentality mode” to “personal growth mode” to face a difficult situation you have found yourself in. Of course, it won’t happen immediately because it’s a mental process that requires to retrain your brain. Consequently, you probably won’t see in a problem an incredible opportunity to improve yourself right away but with time it becomes much easier and more natural.
And eventually, it becomes your brand new attitude… a positive mentality to continue your path…
Life isn’t meant to be lived perfectly. Life is about learning, creating the best version of ourselves and facing the unknown. No one is prepared for the things that didn’t happen yet. But with a positive mindset, you would be able to handle challenges differently and use your difficult situation into your advantage and an incredible possibility to grow as a Human.