“From life’s school of war: what does not kill me makes me stronger.” – Friedrich Nietzsche, Twilight of the Idols.
Let’s be realistic. We are all going through a tough time sometimes. And there is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. This is an important part of our life, the one that influences our sense of purpose. First, however, there is one condition: We need to accept difficult feelings that come along. It’s the secret key to personal growth. The secret of human nature. And believe it or not, we are all only human. Even if sometimes we wish we were a Marvel Super Hero with the power to block unpleasant emotions and all the negativity that comes from outside we are just people. Perfect in our imperfections. Still, we do our best to avoid unpleasant feelings and negative state of mind as if it was something highly radioactive. Well, I’m not going to lie. When I’m having a hard time and my mind is all over the place I wish I had the superpower to just shake off all the pain, remove hurtful, unpleasant and uncomfortable memories and start over with a clean slate. It wouldn’t be bad at all. Gosh, it would be very convenient, right? But, unfortunately, it doesn’t work like that.
No matter how much you want to reset your memory just like you do with the memory of your cell phones it’s not possible. Furthermore, every attempt to suppress or numb your feelings and emotions only makes things worse. Because every single time we desperately try to change your state of mind it only increases our frustration. And correct me if I am wrong but frustration is incredibly difficult to manage especially if it comes along with helplessness and severe depression.
Embrace your inner darkness
Positivity obsessed society forgives almost every sin except sadness. How could it be otherwise? You keep hearing that a positive mindset is a solution to everything. But what if someone is severely depressed and struggling to survive? What if keeping a positive attitude all the time is really not an option? What then? Because this is what happens in a real life. Sometimes we feel desperate, heartbroken and pessimistic. And there is nothing wrong with that. If you feel this way it doesn’t mean that you should try harder and force yourself to think positively. That’s just an absurd. Is there truly no space for deep sorrow, extreme upset or grief? Is it really that much better for us to walk around with a fake smile plastered on our faces? Do we really need to pretend to be happy to avoid being negative? I don’t see how that would help anyone. That’s ridiculous. If you feel like crying; cry. If you’re happy; laugh. What I am trying to say is that you should rely on your human intuition instead of constantly worrying about what other people think.
Correct me if I am wrong but today’s social standards are ruthless and bloody brutal. Not to mention that sometimes they go far beyond common sense. Happiness is not a constant state of being. It’s not even possible in a dual world we live. Our basic understanding of human existence is based on recognizing contradictions, opposites, and extremes. Because all the good staff has no meaning without the bad ones. Happiness doesn’t exist without sadness. You cannot have one without the other. And it has nothing to do with the attitude we chose to adopt. So all of these books on how to reach a state of permanent happiness in some simple steps you can just throw in a trash can. Their place is there. Because not only is it impossible, it’s downright scary. I’m sorry but in my personal opinion happiness as a constant state of being can only characterize mania or addiction to drugs or other substances. Which means that it’s highly unlikely to be achievable when you stone cold sober. That is why we all need to learn to embrace negative feelings, thoughts, and emotions. This is essential for our mental and physical health. So get your s*it together and embrace your sadness. Let yourself feel it. And then feel the sweetest relief imaginable.
Drown Out Your Inner Demons
Face your demons and they will stop chasing you. They like a poison that spreads right through the system any time you try to escape them. They linger inside us like ghosts… haunting the corridors and deserted rooms… You will not get rid of them by denying their existence. That would be great but unfortunately, it doesn’t really work like that. That would be just too easy. Mainly because our demons represent our deepest fears, doubts and insecurities buried deep below the surface. But if you don’t want to be under their rules anymore you need to face them first. And then… well, then you have to deal with the consequences. Why? Well, probably because freedom is not free you have to pay for it. We all have to pay for it. So as you can see the prize is worth this sacrifice. But wait, I will tell you a secret: the value of the currency indicates your strength. Which means that once you realize this you have the upper hand. So get your s*it together, stand up and fight. It’s time to face your fear.
That’s why facing our demons is a battle of spirits. It’s a conflict within the soul. A battle between good and evil. The Psychomachia. The only path to freedom.
A kinky role-playing game
Embracing your inner darkness will help you to see the light. It’s not going to be easy because facing your deepest fears it’s kind of a kinky role-playing game but you know what? You have the upper hand right now. But you do, after all, know how to play the game. The rule is simple: don’t fight your fears but accept them. Accept the darkness inside you and you will be free. Everybody has skeletons in their closet. And no one, NO ONE can escape from them. If you want to be free of them you need to face them first. And this is how to do it:
Learn to acknowledge and accept your feelings. Always give yourself permission to feel exactly how you feel in a certain moment. Don’t try to change your state of mind. Trust your gut. Live in the present moment. Be mindful. Work on positive self-talk. And learn how to practice radical acceptance. Accept your reality. And remember that transformation is always preceded by a moment of acceptance. Radical acceptance.
And Transform yourself