Have you ever felt so overwhelmed by the complexity of your problems that you couldn’t figure out how to deal with it? By this, I mean a kind of moment in life when things go beyond control and you find yourself in a state of permanent chaos trying to figure out how not to go insane. Strangely, there is a simple explanation for this, challenging situations in life can trigger an incredible amount of stress which play havoc with our immune system. In consequence, someone who suffers can develop some symptoms of anxiety disorder or even depression. If you search for this topic online, you will find plenty of psychological research suggesting that it happens essentially in most cases.

Embrace the chaos

Imagine being hit by more than one life-changing catastrophes at the same time. It is very probable that under these circumstances your existence become so damn complicated that you start feeling powerless and out of control. In other words, sometimes life becomes so complex that a person who experiences this would rather be dead because it is just too much to handle. I know exactly what I am saying because I’ve been there more than once. In the past, I found myself extremely confused and overwhelmed by the complexity of my problems, that the amount of stress I was experiencing made me feel numb and dissociated from reality. I knew by then what being lost in the chaos was like. I went through a nervous breakdown twice in my life. Now, I know that I could avoid this, all I needed then was a structure and some common sense… Now after many years I can say that I’ve learned my lesson.  

According to psychiatric studies, this is the true nature of anxiety which strikes without warning and destroys the peace and harmony of everyone’s life. Because nothing has sense in front of great chaos. Obviously, there can be a creative chaos and a destructive order. There is no doubt about that. However, I am talking about dealing with this kind of chaos that is closer to destruction than any kind of creativity. That’s the difference.

If you have ever experienced a personal crisis you know how crucial is faith inability to restore even a minimum balance in your life. When the shock wears off and you gradually begin to accept the trauma that happened it’s time to act. Basically, all you need is a reasonable plan. Just like mathematics, it is all about

The problem-solving approach

And this is how you should do it:

1. Create a crisis response plan 

This step will help you to restore a minimum balance in your life

• define the situation you are in; what are the risks?
• plan and organize every step of it (you need a structure in order to move forward)
• address every single problem, otherwise, you risk that hard situation gets worse (in other words, problems will eat you alive if you do not pay attention to them)
• remember there is ALWAYS a good solution (limits are created by our anxious mind – they are NOT real, the only imaginary)
• Keywords: logical reasoning, strategy, and tactics

2. Identify and structure your problems

Because any problem/difficulty has to be defined first in order to find the best solution

• think what exactly you deal with
• define all the problems correctly (if you do that finding a solution will be just a matter of time)
• decompose every problem into significant manageable parts which are easier to deal with

“A problem is a chance for you to do your best” -Duke Ellington

3. Plan how you will resolve the earlier defined problems

• remember that problems have to be solved at the beginning when they are small otherwise they grow and overwhelm us
• search for a practical solution
• negotiate with yourself, do not be your own tyrant

4. Problem is only an obstacle 

(even in terms of a personal tragedy) – it means two things:

• First: The movement to the goal is blocked
• Second: You face the mystery (I personally call it unforeseen technical difficulties) which can trigger an anxiety (it is important to know this in order to manage the situation)
• You should proceed as follows:
  • don’t panic
  • stop and calm down
  • take a step back
  • observe & analyze the situation
  • plan
  • act responsible

5. Finding help (a rational one)

In many cases, you need to ask for help because the situation you are in is so difficult and complex to be able to resolve this all by yourself

• identify people/places/organizations that you can ask for help
• have a support base (family, friends, co-workers, neighbors who you can ask for help & support)
• do your research online – almost every place in the world is connected; which gives you an incredible amount of people who are dealing with similar problems and can give you some advice, information, support or even really help

6. Fix and learn                                                                                                             

It is important to realize that problems are the essential part of everyday life and it is our moral obligation to identify them and find a practical solution. Rather than seeing problems as a catastrophe we should indicate them as a form of challenges, an opportunity for our personal growth. I’m not telling you, that it’s easy but in my personal opinion, I know that this is the right mindset. Because in retrospect we all can notice that struggles make us stronger and more respectful towards life. I personally believe, that solving problems and moving forward is the real meaning of life. Because it defines our existence as human beings.

Take care 

Be mindful and adopt a problem-solving approach 

xx Kate