“If you want to take a step forward, you have to lose your balance for a moment.”
Life Is A Balancing Act
So before I properly begin, I wanted to give a little disclaimer that I don’t believe in creating a permanent life balance that nothing, absolutely nothing can interfere. I think that life is very much a constant balancing act, a sum of rises and falls, ups and downs, stumbles and missteps, failures and fresh starts. Failure is inevitable but if it is followed by improvement it becomes a part of the learning process. So stop counting up your failures because they don’t define you. Learn from them. Grow as a person. Rise up each time you fall and start the process over again. Keep building towards your dreams. Accept what you cannot control and move forward despite the obstacles. Life is hard. But hey no one said it would be easy. You have to fail to learn your lesson.
Life without struggles and challenges would be an empty and meaningless existence with no possibility to grow and improve. Every step forward is a balancing act. Sometimes life throws you off and knocks you down but only to give you a chance to raise up and regain your focus. A constant and perfect balance in life does not exist. So stop pursuing it. Focus on building momentum and balancing the present moment. Keep moving forward and if you lost your footing accept it as a part of the process. Don’t make it discourage you. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, give yourself a pat on the back for raising up and get back on track.
Everything happens for a reason and this reason is to make us stronger, smarter and more resilient. Life is about embracing all of these imperfect moments and make them memorable and meaningful. Life is about moving forward and building momentum along the way.
Just like we as human beings are perfectly imperfect our individual life experience is far from perfect as well. For this reason, alone our pursuit of perfect, constant and permanent life balance is doomed to failure.
For years I tried to convince myself it was something wrong with me because I failed every single time I tried to achieve a perfect and permanent life balance that would provide me with a nice, peaceful, highly structured and well-organized life experience…
And you know what? There was nothing wrong with me but with my idea of the nature of life. Now I know that this concept of perfect equilibrium is “only” an ideal impossible to accomplish in real life. So instead of chasing perfection, I started to pursuing progress.
1. Practice Being Present
Mindfulness means acceptance.
Mindfulness means self-awareness.
Mindfulness means balancing perfectly imperfect life experience.
Life is incredibly uncertain and extremely unpredictable. So prepare for the change. Get ready for a ride on the bumpy road of life. Prepare yourself for the amazing mix of emotions. Be ready for extreme joy, excitement, fear, suffering, delusion, pain, anger, happiness and love. Be prepared for the state of great confusion and for the unconditional release. Since it will be a crazy roller coaster drive, a drive to scream put your seatbelt on, make yourself comfortable and take a deep breath. Well, maybe more than one. Open your eyes really wide and let yourself experience the authenticity of the present moment. Focus on the here and now. Accept what you can’t change and control what you can control. Accept what life is and let go of a sense of injustice. Give yourself permission to feel and experience the authenticity of life. Guide your life with mindfulness and you will find the perfect moment of balance.
2. Minimize Negative Self-Talk
Negative self-talk is a dangerous and destructive force. Not to mention that it easily throw you off balance. Let’s be realistic, there is nothing good about talking to yourself in an awful and nasty way, It can only make you feel depressed and hopeless. It happens because words can be a powerful weapon and even if they cannot change your reality they can definitely change your perception of it. Yes, word DO matter.
So pay attention to the words you speak to yourself. If they are making you feel bad about yourself, stop this inner monologue, carefully observe your self-talk and notice how it affects you, write it down and try to find evidence for what you’ve just said to yourself. There is NO evidence, am I right!? You just let your lack of confidence and low self-esteem to speak up. Once you learn to notice and observe your negative self-talk you can consciously change it into a positive inner monologue. It takes time, practice and patience but it is not as hard as you think, plus it’s a major step towards creating your life balance.
3. Practice Mindful Relaxation
Just tell me:
When was the last time you were eating out with your friends and the conversation was not about work?
What are those small pleasures in life that you don’t have time for?
When was the last time you took a day off and actually enjoyed it without constantly thinking about the job?
If you don’t remember it means that you really need to make mindful relaxation one of your top priorities.
We’re living in a busy world constantly trying to balance our hectic life without realizing that increased working time and reduced sleeping hours won’t help us to achieve that. Life is not an endless to-do list of things to do and appointments to make. Being busy doesn’t mean being productive and taking a break during a hectic day doesn’t mean that you’re procrastinating. Actually, the little time taken off from work or study is not only rational but also crucial for your mental and physical wellbeing. And you surely cannot live a balanced life if you constantly sacrifice time relaxing to achieve more things in less time. So stop what you’re doing, take some time off and engage in mindful relaxation.
4. Set Long Term SMART Goals
There is something magical about setting goals in life. Probably because goals announce a change, a personal transformation. Because whether you’re chasing a new direction in life or making only a small adjustment of your current lifestyle you’re going to transform and grow from this experience.
Goals make life more challenging, meaningful and more satisfying. They fuel your ambition, boost your motivation and define your personal values. Not only because they give you a long-term vision but also because they help you to reach your full potential and pull your resources to make the most of your life. Furthermore, setting your goals it’s perfect if not the only way of accepting the responsibility and taking control of your life. What it means is that you decide to step up and embrace the creator role and instead of waiting for the opportunity to come you create it for yourself. And it doesn’t matter how many times you fail, because getting it “right” the first time it’s highly unlikely if not impossible. What really matters is how you grow and evolve as a person. So set meaningful goals that’ll help you to grow in all areas of your life and align them with your purpose.
5. Build Your Tribe
Choose your circle wisely because the people you surround yourself with not only shape your reality and perspective but above all determines who you are. Your friends will bring the best in you or completely break you. They will empower you or distract you from achieving your dreams. Real friendship is an incredible opportunity to find your true self and grow. While false friends create an extremely conditional relationship without boundaries, feelings of care and respect.
People can inspire you, push you to become a better person, give you hope, empower you to succeed or discredit your ambitions and drill holes under your boat to get it leaking. So choose your friends wisely. Find your tribe, your people with whom you connect, share your joys and sorrow, celebrate your achievements and grow. Listen to your intuition and invite in your life only those people who give you a feeling of belonging, offer emotional support, bring great joy and positively impact your life.
6. Develop Your Emotional Intelligence
Emotions are natural phenomena of human nature that serve a wide range of purposes. Of course, some emotions are positive and others are negative but all of them are equally important and serve for a better understanding of a situation we found ourselves in. But there is no such thing as a good or bad emotion. But, certainly, there are good or bad, or more precisely appropriate and inappropriate ways to respond to these emotions. Furthermore, if you are an easily triggered person you know that the first reaction usually provokes more reactions and each of them has its consequences. So basically after acting out, you have to take your responsibilities and accept all the consequences of your actions. And as a result, you’re completely thrown off the balance.
Reacting instead of responding to a life situation is a clear indication of the lack of balance. So if you are an easily triggered person you’ve got some work to do. But don’t worry it will pay off.
So next time while experiencing an intense wave of energy rising up in the body in response to certain circumstances wait, acknowledge and accept your emotions without any judgment and then respond to the situation or person you have to deal with. Always choose to consciously respond not to emotionally react and you will avoid feeling guilty, remorseful or ashamed afterward.
7. Declutter Your Physical And Mental Space
Considering the fact that life is uncertain and unpredictable the practice of balance can be very messy. But the good news is that you can always bring chaos into order. So don’t be discouraged if something is not going according to plan. Sometimes to clean out your physical and mental clutter you have to make a bigger mess first. It’s a bit like cleaning out your cluttered closet. If you want to clean out your wardrobe you have to get all the things out of the closet first, make a conscious decision about what you want to keep and what you should get rid of and start doing it.
Accept the fact that cleaning out your physical and mental clutter it’s a never-ending process. That’s because we just like to try new things, challenge ourselves and make a mess somewhere along the way. It’s part of our nature. But the truth is that you are the only one responsible for your life so when you make a mess, you clean it up.
Life is a constant balancing act and it can get very messy. There are always things to be done everywhere and every time you look. Cleaning out mental and physical clutter it’s an important and inevitable part of the process. So keep on decluttering and find the joy in it.
8. Trust Your Guts
Your intuition whispers and if you ignore this whisper sooner or later it will start screaming. Why? Well, because our intuition or as I like to call it a “gut feeling” it’s nothing other than our internal guidance system, a precognitive knowledge which is being activated every time when we have to make a decision. Sometimes we’re not even aware of this decision-making process because this precognitive quality comes first before we get access to our critical and logical thinking. That’s why if your instinct tells you to run, you should run without thinking twice. And we all know what will happen if we go against this first “gut feeling”, right?
Furthermore, you intuitively know what’s best for you, what decision you should make, how you should behave, when you should try a little bit harder and when it’s better to let go and move forward. Intuition is your inner wisdom, your instinctive awareness, your “gut feeling” that when it’s heard and accepted becomes your internal guidance system. So trust your intuition and always honor this first “gut feeling” and you will find your inner peace and create a moment of perfect balance.
And Find Your Balance