So You Feel Like A Cr*p...
Life can be confusing and difficult especially when nothing goes according to plan and you get overwhelmed with difficult decisions to make. Suddenly everything changes and results in undesirable situations that you have to face with courage and confidence. A piece of cake, some would say. Well, not really. Because even if you accept the uncertainty and unpredictability of life some life situations are just hard to handle.
So what you should do when it happens to you. How to do damage control and get back on the right track when a million questions raise in your mind such as:
- How to make a choice if you have too many options?
- What if plan B won’t work either?
- When is it time to let go and move on?
- What if you make the wrong choice and you get trapped in an even worse situation?
Well, the struggle is real. Considering the fact that life didn’t come with an instruction manual and you cannot be 100% sure what is the best choice before you actually make it you have every right to feel overwhelmed, confused and heartbroken… But only for a little while because once this all calms down it’s time to step up, embrace the creator role, regain control and take your life back once again.
All right, so let’s summarize:
- Nothing went according to plan
- Your back up plan isn’t working
- You’re confused about what to do next
So what you should do?
Well, You should get your sh*t together!
Here is how you can make the most of bad experiences and negative things to turn them to your advantage in just 5 days:
Day 1: Let Yourself Feel Like A Cr*p
Hiding, ignoring or denying negative thoughts or emotions not only does not solve the problem but it can also hijack your health. For this reason alone it’s important to acknowledge your current state of mind and express your feelings in a healthy and mature way. Besides, having bad experiences and negative emotions it’s totally ok. Everyone has crappy days, some people are just better at hiding it than others but still, sh*t happens to everyone, without exception. We tend to forget about it while scrolling through social media profiles of influencers portraying their “perfect” life with no problems and issues. And the truth is, Instagram glam has nothing to do with real life. Nobody is always happy and nobody looks good all the time. Social media has little to do with real life. Most people only want to show the good stuff. So they highlight the positives and hide all the negatives. So, let’s said it out loud once again: Social Media is not real life! Remember this when you will be scrolling through social media accounts next time.
Anyways, my point is that if you have a bad, seriously depressing day allow yourself to feel bad for a while. Don’t beat yourself up for feeling sad, overwhelmed, anxious or disappointed because it won’t make you feel any better. Trust me, you’ll be happier if you just let yourself feel like crap for a moment. Besides avoiding or rejecting negative emotions and thoughts doesn’t make them go away. Furthermore, your every attempt to do that will only build them up and cause you greater suffering. Don’t fight with yourself because you will lose. So instead of repressing unpleasant emotions, regain control and deal with your misery in a mindful and mature way and you will find your inner peace. And remember that it’s totally fine to have a bad day. Nobody is a superhero all the time.
Day 2: Just Breathe Mindfully
Feeling overwhelmed, anxious and defeated by life can make you forget to breathe. And what happens when you unconsciously forget to breathe? You feel dizzy, confused and about to faint, right? Let’s not let that happen.
So, after going through a whole day of feeling like a cr*p it’s time to relax, lower the harmful effects of stress, relieve anxiety and release some endorphins. And what’s the cheapest, quickest and easiest way to do that? Breathe. Just breathe.
Here is my favorite breathing pattern developed by Dr. Andrew Weil called the 4-7-8 breathing exercise:
- Choose a place to do your breathing exercise
- Make sure no one will bother you
- Sit or lie down in a comfortable position
- Relax your neck and shoulders
- Close your eyes
- Inhale slowly through your nose to a mental count of 4
- Hold your breath for a count of 7
- Exhale slowly by blowing air through your pursed lips for a count of 8
- Let go of your thoughts and unpleasant emotions
- Repeat this practice 3 to 4 times per day
And observe how your negative thoughts and unpleasant feelings float away.
Day 3: Declutter your external personal space
Cleaning out clutter does not only clean your external personal space but also reorganize the thoughts in your head. You may not be consciously aware of that but it’s actually true. It happens because your external personal space is the reflection of your internal world and vice versa. Therefore, it does not come as a surprise that you feel stressed, anxious and completely out of control in a messy room. In contrast, a clean and organized space makes you feel relaxed, calm, organized and if you are like me even happy. So if you have a bad day, nothing goes according to plan and you feel like a cr*p start cleaning your space! I’m serious. Don’t think, do it. And I bet once you’ve finished you will feel an enormous sense of relief.
The power of cleaning is real and it’s overwhelming! So get a broom and bring chaos into order once again. Make your bed, clean up your desk, wash the dishes, mop the floor, take out the bin and regain control of your life. Yes, it’s that simple. And no, I’m not fanatical about cleaning. I mean, to be completely honest, I don’t like cleaning at all but I love this feeling afterward when you can sit in clean, organized and decluttered space and feel a sense of accomplishment. It’s the process of emotional catharsis.
Cleaning out clutter work wonders for your mental health and wellbeing because gives you a sense of control and the power to master your mind. So clean your field of being, regain control, take back your life and move forward.
Day 4: Set New SMART Goals
Now that your external personal space is cleaned and organized it’s time to regain your momentum and motivation. In other words, it’s time to make a new plan and move forward with your life. I know what you are thinking, not really but I can imagine. You probably think that if you failed this time you will never succeed again. WRONG! Just because it didn’t work out this time it doesn’t mean you’re not going to succeed in life. All you have to do right now is to:
- Adopt a growth mindset
- Rethink your mistakes
- Turn your problems into opportunities to grow personally and professionally
- Rethink your priorities
- Set new SMART goals
- Make a clear action plan
- Unlock your creative potential
- Create a brand new chapter in your life
Just like that. Get up from under the dust of your heartbreaking experience, take a deep breath, embrace your failure and use it as your driving force.
Set new GOALS for the life you want!
Day 5: Regain Your Control
“No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. we ourselves must walk the path.” Buddha
Once you’ve set your new goals and made a clear action plan it’s time to regain control of your time and your life.
So step into and embrace the creator role. Create your life experience. Create a mindset of courage to step into the new chapter of your life. It’s time to turn a horrible situation, unpleasant feelings and negative thoughts to your advantage by adopting a positive mindset and taking action. Use your past heartbreaking experience as an incredible opportunity to grow. Turn your negative self-talk into comforting, positive and encouraging self-talk.
Go stand in front of the mirror and start repeating powerful affirmations out loud:
- I am ENOUGH
- I CAN choose what I become
- I CAN do this
- Limits exist ONLY in my mind
- My past experiences and current circumstances does NOT define me
- I HAVE the courage to turn negative thinking into positive thoughts and actions.
- I HAVE the power to create my life experience
- Today is my opportunity to become a BETTER version of myself
- I am not ashamed of my mistakes because they made me a BETTER person
- Today I CHOOSE to transfer this negative energy into something amazing
“It’s the repetition of affirmations that leads to belief. And once that belief becomes a deep conviction, things begin to happen.” Muhammad Ali.
And Get Your Shit Together!