10 Powerful Habits To Build Your Confidence – become a confident person and achieve your toughest goals.

How to become insanely self-confident
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Creating Habits Of A Confident Person

To achieve your dream goals you have to create a pair of powerful habits leading to success.

Lacking Of Self Self-Confidence?

There are many different reasons for the lack of self-confidence such as:

  • Your Parents’ Parenting Style
  • Being bullied or humiliated
  • Suffering from anxiety or depression (or any other physical or mental disease)
  • Trauma
  • Being the subject of discrimination
  • Previous poor life choices
  • Negative thought patterns

However, the most important thing is to understand that whatever the cause of your low self-confidence might be it is NOT your fault and that you can quite easily with a bit of time and effort improve your confidence levels. Of course, it takes patience and practice but it’s worth it!

Don’t forget that the more you practice the more it becomes a habit. And it’s exactly what we are trying to do here, to develop habits of a confident person. So get ready because we’ve got some work to do!

Quality is not an act, it is a habit.

Creating The Habit Of A Confident Person

Self-Confidence Or Self-Esteem?

Most people used the terms self-confidence and self-esteem interchangeably when referring to how someone feels about themselves. However, even if these two concepts seem similar they’re quite different.  

Self-Confidence 

Self-confidence is about trust in yourself, in your abilities to face life challenges. This personality trait is an indicator of how one feels within a specific area or situation and as such depends on the situation somebody found themselves in. Which basically means that you can feel quite confident in one situation and you can totally lack confidence in a completely different set of circumstances. However, the good news is that you can easily increase your self-confidence by practice. So if you continue to expose yourself to a particular situation you become more and more self-confident within this kind of situation. The best example is probably, job interview. 

Do you believe the actions you take will have a positive outcome?

 

Self-Esteem

Self-esteem is about our cognitive appraisal of our own worth. This personality trait is an indicator of how we recognize our inherited worth and how much we believe we deserve happiness and good fortune. But, what is probably the most important, selfconfidence stems from low selfesteem. So if someone wants to increase their self-confidence should first and mainly focus on building their self-esteem. 

Do you know your own worth and value?

Ditch the Victim Mentality and Become More Empowered

Let’s be honest: We all play the victim card sometimes to achieve a specific goal without putting any effort. And as far as I don’t see anything wrong if this “victim game” is used as a little excuse or a momentary lapse of weakness from time to time in minor matters only, I do think that having a full-time victim mentality is an extremely self-destructive habit that keeps us stuck in blame, extreme pessimist and overwhelming negativity. That’s why you have to be careful not to fall into this trap of making up excuses every single time you feel vulnerable, insecure or just not in the mood. Trust me I know what I am talking about. I used to suffer from victim mentality for most of my life until I chose to assume responsibility and regain control of my life. So be careful with making excuses, because you really don’t want to pass for a truly miserable person who would rather drown in self-pity than find a solution to their problems. 

So if you lack self-confidence because you had a tough childhood, you were bullied in school, you’re suffering from anxiety or for any other reason, you STILL can and you should build strong self-confidence and self-esteem not only for yourself but also to prove others that nothing can stop you from reaching your goals. You don’t want to give others (especially those who bullied you) power over you. Now it is time to roll up our sleeves, ditch the victim mentality, overcome self-sabotage habit and become more empowered.

It’s time to adopt the habits of a confident person and become one! 

celebrate your achievements

The Power Of Habit

“As it is not one swallow or a fine day that makes a spring, so it is not one day or a short time that makes a man blessed and happy...." "...these virtues are formed in man by his doing the right actions.”

 — Aristotle, (for real) Tweet

So, let’s do the right actions!

Step ONE:

Acknowledge that you lack self-confidence and self-esteem

Step TWO:

Get your sh*t together, take charge and make a conscious decision to become a more confident person

Step THREE:

Get outside your comfort zone and take an action

Step FOUR:

Start developing habits of a confident person

Step FIVE:

Master habits of a confident person

Step SIX:

Be confident AF!

YOUR Goal: Become A More Confident Person

YOUR Motto: Right Action At Right Time = Success

10 Powerful Habits Of Insanely Self-Confident Person

Repetition of the same thought or physical action develops into a habit which, repeated frequently enough, becomes an automatic reflex.

positive self-talk

1. Stop Negative Self-Talk

Negative self-talk is a dangerous and destructive force. Let’s be realistic, there is nothing good about this. Talking to yourself in an awful and nasty way can only make you feel depressed and hopeless. We all know that words can be a powerful weapon and even if they cannot change our reality they definitely change our perception of it. If you do not pay attention to your inner monologue, it is easy to confuse two completely different dimensions of it; negative self-talk and our inner critic. The former is judgmental and harmful and the latter one can be really beneficial, in terms of developing self-consciousness and self-awareness. However, to be able to distinguish between them you need to be mindful and conscious. It is always important to pay attention to the words you speak to yourself. If they are making you feel bad about yourself you should stop this inner monologue, observe carefully what are you saying and how these words affect you, write it down and try to find evidence for these hateful words. There is NO evidence, am I right!? You just let your lack of confidence and low self-esteem to speak up. Then, when you do this you can consciously change your negative self-talk into a positive one. It takes time, practice and patience but it is not as hard as you think. It can be done. 

Exercise:

  • Notice your negative self-talk and work to change it (write down all the negative, nasty words you say to yourself)
  • Replace negative beliefs with positive affirmations (focus on positive by writing down things you like in yourself and those that you are grateful for!)
  • Remember you are not your thoughts (beliefs are NOT facts!)
  • Control your mind, don’t let it control you
  • Show compassion to yourself (treat yourself like you treat people you truly love)
  • Develop a positive attitude toward life by staying away from negativity

2. Speak Less, But Speak Wisely

Words have incredible power but only if you use them wisely. Many people think that talking fast, loud and of course, a lot make them appear more intelligent and confident while it is quite the opposite. You’ve probably noticed that people who speak really fast usually try to cover their insecurities or fill the empty space with their words. So they say a bunch of words with no connection and not making any sense at all. 

However, the truth is that people tend to listen to those who choose their words carefully and speak with intention. 

So if you want to use your language as a way to feel more powerful and confident here is how you can easily do it:  

  • Speak less, but with more meaningful words
  • Choose your words wisely and speak with intention
  • Organize thought in your mind before you speak
  • Know which direction you want to go in with your language
  • Find your confident boss persona  

 

While talking to someone AVOID:

  • insecurity in language
  • putting yourself down
  • apologizing for being yourself
  • being a people pleaser (being a people pleaser destroys your authentic self – been there, done that)
  • desperately asking for validation (again: been there done that)
talk about your struggles

Exercise:

Practice Mirror Work:

  • Go stand in front of the mirror
  • Look at yourself, maintain eye contact and smile
  • Speak kindly to yourself
  • Notice your facial expression and body language
  • Stay as a confident person – try to appear as a more confident person
  • Imitate confidence until you feel a little bit more confident
self limiting beliefs

3. Break Through Self Limiting Beliefs

  • Overcome self-limiting doubt
  • Remember that the only one who is holding you back is YOU!

Do you have negative beliefs about yourself? Do you constantly feel that you are not good enough, smart enough or strong enough? Did you ever wonder where these beliefs come from? Because I can assure you, that if you have these negative beliefs and opinions about yourself you did NOT create them by yourself. There was somebody else who did this, maybe you grew up in a dysfunctional family or was in a bad relationship. Whatever the reason is you have to understand that it is NOT your reality. All these self-limiting beliefs are false. You just let your low self-esteem and lack of confidence to speak up. And you know what, you can change this. This is not going to be an easy process but it is worth trying! You’ve got nothing to lose and everything to gain.

Personally, I don’t believe in limits. But I used to in the past. For most of my life, I’ve been told that I cannot do something because I was not smart enough, strong enough or tenacious enough… and other bullshit. I just cannot understand why people tell this kind of bullshit to anyone. What purpose does it serve, if any, for them? It is just pure nonsense. However, for most of my life I believed in these hurtful words and in consequence I stayed for a long time in my comfort zone. Such a waste of precious time…  And then a couple of years ago I had a great epiphany, just out of nowhere. I told myself, wait why do I even believe in these limits? I did NOT create them, others did. But I am the only one who is in charge of my own life and there is only one thing that is holding me back – fear. The fear of positive change. What if I had done what I always wanted to do and I would have succeeded? I understood that I let my self-doubt and low self-esteem to control me. So simple. Limits exist only in our head, they are not real. And If you challenge yourself and take a step out of your comfort zone you will see it clearly.

Exercise:

Write down all your self-limiting beliefs and ask yourself if you can find undeniable proof of them. By this, I mean real evidence. Because, you know, in my personal experience I have learned that it is mostly our fear that is holding us back. It is also scientifically proved that our mind always tries to protect us from the unknown, in case there is some potential danger for our safety.  In other words, when our body perceives something as a threat or danger the adrenal gland start to produce cortisol – our stress hormone, to protect us. However, if the cortisol level is constantly high the amount of stress we perceive will harm our body.  That is why, if you want to overcome this mostly irrational fear of the unknown you have to adopt a different mindset. Because learning something new and constantly challenging yourself play a key role in your personal growth and your well-being. That is why is so important to overcome the fear of the unknown on a daily basis otherwise you will waste the best opportunities by staying in your comfort zone. 

get yourself in motion

Read These Posts About Achieving Your Goals:

  1. 5 Steps To Success In Achieving Your Goals HERE
  2. Realistic Ways To Change Your Life In 2019 HERE
  3. Put Yourself In A Positive Headspace HERE
  4. Free Yourself From Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts HERE
  5. It’s Just A Bad Day Not A Bad Life HERE
  6. 10 Simple Ways To Bring Mindfulness Into Your Daily Life HERE

4. Expose Yourself - Face Your Fears

Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear.

 

Disable the black filter – Often we engage ourselves in negative, catastrophic thinking without even realizing this. Negative energy is built into a lack of confidence and low self-esteem. They get along really well and work to destroy us. Fortunately, without our permission, they will fail in their attempt.

Don’t trust your fear –  fear is a really bad advisor because it’s anything but a pathological liar that keeps us stuck in negative situations, relationships and of course in the past. Remember don’t let your fear guide you or make life-changing decisions for you because you won’t be happy with the results. In many cases fear is just in your mind, it’s an illusion that has nothing to do with the real danger. So before you freak out, try to identify what kind of fear you are dealing with (imaginary or a real threat) first. 

face your fears

Exercise:

  • Find your fear – what are you afraid of?
  • Detect the root of your issue: where does this fear come from?
  • Face your fear: expose yourself to your fear and practice
  • Reward yourself for being courageous- you’ve made it!
  • Celebrate your achievements – be proud of yourself!

Download Your FREE Printable Worksheets To Work On Your Self-Confidence!

how to be confident

5. Fake It Till You Make It

No one is born confident or with lack of confidence. When we are babies we learn how to behave by watching and copying other people’s behavior, especially our parents and other family members. They are our first point of reference. And unfortunately, not always the best one. By this, I mean that, a lot of children grow up in a highly dysfunctional environment and because they are adolescents they are highly dependent on adults. It is extremely sad and just unfair. As we know from the science of psychology, children who grew up in a dysfunctional family unconsciously follow an exact pathological energetic pattern which affects every aspect of their lives. But you know what? If it is your case, I’ve got some good news for you. You can change this dysfunctional pattern through mindful and conscious hard work. What is more, you can build your confidence, improve your self-esteem and push through self-limiting beliefs which I stated before are FALSE.  Yes, it requires great effort, time and patience but it is possible and worth it! Be mindful, listen to your intuition and always remember that limits are only in your head, they are not real! Do not overthink, act, get out from your comfort zone. If you won’t try, it will never happen!

Exercise:

Improve your body language

  • Exercise positive body language
  • Improve your body language to appear more confident and comfortable with yourself
  • practice, practice, and practice!

Have you checked my FREE printable workbooks on self-care and prioritizing life?

If not, you can DOWNLOAD your 2 FREE workbooks here, just CLICK on the photos!

6. Surround Yourself With Uplifting People

Choose your circle wisely because the people you surround yourself with not only shape your reality and perspective but above all determines who you are. Your friends will bring the best in you or completely break you. They will empower you or distract you from achieving your dreams. Real friendship is an incredible opportunity to find your true self and grow. While false friends create an extremely conditional relationship without boundaries, feelings of care and respect.
People can inspire you, push you to become a better person, give you hope, empower you to succeed or discredit your ambitions and drill holes under your boat to get it leaking. So choose your friends wisely. Find your tribe, your people with whom you connect, share your joys and sorrow, celebrate your achievements and grow. Listen to your intuition and invite in your life only those people who give you a feeling of belonging, offer emotional support, bring great joy and positively impact your life.

find your tribe

Exercise:

  • Get rig od toxic people in life who pull you down – you don’t need them!
  • Connect with people who inspire you to be a better version of yourself.
  • Follow people on social media that inspire and empower you and unfollow those who make you feel bad about yourself.
be patient

7. Be Patient

You know that saying: Rome wasn’t built in a day?

You need time to create something great. Mastering skill or habit takes time and effort. It is not something that happens in a flash.  

Self-confidence and self-esteem can be improved upon a time but it requires you to be patient and adopt a positive attitude. So be patient and kind to yourself. Own your journey. Watch your growth and be proud of yourself. Take one step at a time and celebrate your every achievement. And remember that progress in life is not linear. There will be many ups and downs and that’s OK. Highs and lows are an integral part of life. 

8. Give Yourself Some Credit

You are your harshest critic that keep putting yourself down with negative self-talk and limiting self-beliefs. Just think about how you think about yourself and what words you use when you talk to yourself? Would you be happy if someone tells the same thing you tell yourself to the person you love the most? I don’t think so. So, stop putting yourself down. Stop the black and white thinking. The fact that you’ve made some poor choices and bad mistakes in your past do not mean that you’re a failure. If you want to succeed, own who you are. Own your mistakes and use them to your advantage. Your past is just an experience use it to your personal growth and self-development. Be proud of yourself and don’t forget to validate yourself every single time you achieve your goal even an absurdly small one. 

Validating yourself every time you achieve your goal is crucial because by consistent small achievements we are making real-life progress and we build self-confidence. Life is made up of tiny victories and simple pleasures and by being grateful for them gives your life meaning. For me personally, it is the real-life essence and some kind of mind-body purifying experience. Real katharsis.

give yourself some credit

Exercise:

Next time when you achieve your goal, even the smallest one take time for even a small celebration that will boost your self-esteem, increase your motivation and boost your happy chemicals. 

  • go on a date with yourself
  • share the news with your loved ones
  • write your achievement down on a Post-it and stick it to your desk, vision board or on the fridge
  • write it in your journal – or start a success journal
  • create an achievement jar – just like gratitude jar
  • treat yourself with your favorite dessert
  • Tweet it
  • engage in a mindful relaxation
  • stand in the front of the mirror, look at yourself and smile!
  • tell yourself that you’re proud of yourself – say it out loud!
growth mindset

9. Be Mindful

Observe carefully.

Have your focus on something you really want to achieve, set up your goal structure, make a schedule and stick to it. Remember that conscientiousness. and perseverance is the key to success. If you find it difficult to focus, I highly recommend you to meditate. In my personal opinion guided meditations are the most efficient because they increase your mindfulness which itself brings focus, clarity, and peace. What is even more beneficial, practicing mindfulness through meditation improves both mental and physical health which is fundamental in creating balance in your life. The best way is to schedule your meditation on a daily basis. Find the best moment during the day, when you can focus only on yourself, make yourself comfortable and practice mindfulness through meditation techniques. If you find it hard to focus, don’t worry it takes time and patience.

Engage yourself with things you love doing, in relationships that empower you and surround yourself with positive energy. Because, if you do things that you hate on a daily basis and hang out with people you generally don’t get along with you will end up depressed and hopeless. Obviously, if you cannot change your situation immediately, make a plan, define your goals and then under appropriate circumstances realize them!

Exercise:

Make a list of possible, decent solution every single time you find yourself in a difficult situation. If you feel hopeless, scared and your anxiety kicks you in just stop, wait, observe what is really happening to you. How do you exactly feel? What are your thoughts? Try to identify your emotions not judging them. Think about possible, decent solutions to the problem you have and write everything down. However, try not to overthink, write down your thought, ideas and possible solutions to your problem. Look at your list and take your action step by step in a mindful, conscious way!

10. Build A Healthy Relationship With Yourself

There is only one person you spend your whole life with, and that is yourself. For this particular reason, it’s better to be your best friend than your worst enemy, right? So it’s time to overcome your self-doubt, silence your inner critic and become your best friend. This is how you can do that:

  • Learn positive self-talk by validating yourself and being grateful on a daily basis
  • Treat yourself with compassion and respect, in the exact way you treat people you really love and care about. It’s not that hard if you adopt self-care and gratitude mindset.
  • Practice forgiveness – forgiveness is NOT about others but about you. Because through the pain we can experience catharsis and spiritual growth. Nothing happens without a reason, you just have to learn how to read signs that life shows you.
  • Live a life of personal growth – empower yourself with knowledge. Read, write, study new things, acquire new skills, challenge yourself.
  • Be nice to yourself verbally, emotionally, mentally and physically – take care of yourself
  • Practice self-care like a boss – FREE DOWNLOADABLE workbook HERE or above. 
healthy relationship with yourself

and don't forget to

Learn From Other People Experience

Learning from other people’s experience is a part of human nature. We are social creatures and by sharing our story, with others we create essential human interaction. It is said that we all learn from our mistakes, but reading and talking to others can actually protect us from future problems.

Find your source of inspiration & people you can admire. Because we can always relate to somebody’s else experience and learn from other people’s stories. If you feel left alone with your problems, remember that there are many different people who have been in the same situation you are now and they can help you by giving you some good advice. Not only this awareness can give you hope but also helps you find the right solution. If you look on the internet, search for a particular online forum, blogs, free ebooks you will find inspiration, some good advice, and real-life motivation.

Stay Positive

Be Mindful

And Boost Your Self-Confidence

xo Kate

best method to build self confidence

Remember to

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I like this. I’m going to bookmark this. The part where you said that one can be confident in one situation but not in others really resonated with me. It reminded me of high school, where I was very confident in math, science and Spanish class because that’s what I was good at, and not so much in history, English, or physical education because that’s what I wasn’t good at. (I should clarify that I’m from the USA and English is my first language, but the way we had to analyze literature and write about it was always hard for… Read more »

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Hey, I’m Kate. I am a blogger with a holistic & mindful approach to life. If I am not here it’s because I’m enjoying my creamy cappuccino in one of my favourites coffee shops… 😎

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