So You Feel Like A Cr*p...
Life can be confusing and difficult especially when nothing goes according to plan and you get overwhelmed with difficult decisions to make. Suddenly everything changes and results in undesirable situations that you have to face with courage and confidence. A piece of cake, some would say. Well, not really. Because even if you accept the uncertainty and unpredictability of life some life situations are just hard to handle.
So what you should do when it happens to you. How to do damage control and get back on the right track when a million questions raise in your mind such as:
- How to make a choice if you have too many options?
- What if plan B won’t work either?
- When is it time to let go and move on?
- What if you make the wrong choice and you get trapped in an even worse situation?
Well, the struggle is real. Considering the fact that life didn’t come with an instruction manual and you cannot be 100% sure what is the best choice before you actually make it you have every right to feel overwhelmed, confused and heartbroken… But only for a little while because once this all calms down it’s time to step up, embrace the creator role, regain control and take your life back once again.
All right, so let’s summarize:
- Nothing went according to plan
- Your back up plan isn’t working
- You’re confused about what to do next
So what you should do?
Well, You should get your sh*t together!
Here is how you can make the most of bad experiences and negative things to turn them to your advantage in just 5 days:
Day 1: Let Yourself Feel Like A Cr*p
Hiding, ignoring or denying negative thoughts or emotions not only does not solve the problem but it can also hijack your health. For this reason alone it’s important to acknowledge your current state of mind and express your feelings in a healthy and mature way. Besides, having bad experiences and negative emotions it’s totally ok. Everyone has crappy days, some people are just better at hiding it than others but still, sh*t happens to everyone, without exception. We tend to forget about it while scrolling through social media profiles of influencers portraying their “perfect” life with no problems and issues. And the truth is, Instagram glam has nothing to do with real life. Nobody is always happy and nobody looks good all the time. Social media has little to do with real life. Most people only want to show the good stuff. So they highlight the positives and hide all the negatives. So, let’s said it out loud once again: Social Media is not real life! Remember this when you will be scrolling through social media accounts next time.
Anyways, my point is that if you have a bad, seriously depressing day allow yourself to feel bad for a while. Don’t beat yourself up for feeling sad, overwhelmed, anxious or disappointed because it won’t make you feel any better. Trust me, you’ll be happier if you just let yourself feel like crap for a moment. Besides avoiding or rejecting negative emotions and thoughts doesn’t make them go away. Furthermore, your every attempt to do that will only build them up and cause you greater suffering. Don’t fight with yourself because you will lose. So instead of repressing unpleasant emotions, regain control and deal with your misery in a mindful and mature way and you will find your inner peace. And remember that it’s totally fine to have a bad day. Nobody is a superhero all the time.
Day 2: Just Breathe Mindfully
Feeling overwhelmed, anxious and defeated by life can make you forget to breathe. And what happens when you unconsciously forget to breathe? You feel dizzy, confused and about to faint, right? Let’s not let that happen.
So, after going through a whole day of feeling like a cr*p it’s time to relax, lower the harmful effects of stress, relieve anxiety and release some endorphins. And what’s the cheapest, quickest and easiest way to do that? Breathe. Just breathe.
Here is my favorite breathing pattern developed by Dr. Andrew Weil called the 4-7-8 breathing exercise:
- Choose a place to do your breathing exercise
- Make sure no one will bother you
- Sit or lie down in a comfortable position
- Relax your neck and shoulders
- Close your eyes
- Inhale slowly through your nose to a mental count of 4
- Hold your breath for a count of 7
- Exhale slowly by blowing air through your pursed lips for a count of 8
- Let go of your thoughts and unpleasant emotions
- Repeat this practice 3 to 4 times per day
And observe how your negative thoughts and unpleasant feelings float away.
Day 3: Declutter your external personal space
Cleaning out clutter does not only clean your external personal space but also reorganize the thoughts in your head. You may not be consciously aware of that but it’s actually true. It happens because your external personal space is the reflection of your internal world and vice versa. Therefore, it does not come as a surprise that you feel stressed, anxious and completely out of control in a messy room. In contrast, a clean and organized space makes you feel relaxed, calm, organized and if you are like me even happy. So if you have a bad day, nothing goes according to plan and you feel like a cr*p start cleaning your space! I’m serious. Don’t think, do it. And I bet once you’ve finished you will feel an enormous sense of relief.
The power of cleaning is real and it’s overwhelming! So get a broom and bring chaos into order once again. Make your bed, clean up your desk, wash the dishes, mop the floor, take out the bin and regain control of your life. Yes, it’s that simple. And no, I’m not fanatical about cleaning. I mean, to be completely honest, I don’t like cleaning at all but I love this feeling afterward when you can sit in clean, organized and decluttered space and feel a sense of accomplishment. It’s the process of emotional catharsis.
Cleaning out clutter work wonders for your mental health and wellbeing because gives you a sense of control and the power to master your mind. So clean your field of being, regain control, take back your life and move forward.
Day 4: Set New SMART Goals
Now that your external personal space is cleaned and organized it’s time to regain your momentum and motivation. In other words, it’s time to make a new plan and move forward with your life. I know what you are thinking, not really but I can imagine. You probably think that if you failed this time you will never succeed again. WRONG! Just because it didn’t work out this time it doesn’t mean you’re not going to succeed in life. All you have to do right now is to:
- Adopt a growth mindset
- Rethink your mistakes
- Turn your problems into opportunities to grow personally and professionally
- Rethink your priorities
- Set new SMART goals
- Make a clear action plan
- Unlock your creative potential
AND
- Create a brand new chapter in your life
Just like that. Get up from under the dust of your heartbreaking experience, take a deep breath, embrace your failure and use it as your driving force.
Set new GOALS for the life you want!
Day 5: Regain Your Control
“No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. we ourselves must walk the path.” Buddha
Once you’ve set your new goals and made a clear action plan it’s time to regain control of your time and your life.
So step into and embrace the creator role. Create your life experience. Create a mindset of courage to step into the new chapter of your life. It’s time to turn a horrible situation, unpleasant feelings and negative thoughts to your advantage by adopting a positive mindset and taking action. Use your past heartbreaking experience as an incredible opportunity to grow. Turn your negative self-talk into comforting, positive and encouraging self-talk.
How?
Go stand in front of the mirror and start repeating powerful affirmations out loud:
- I am ENOUGH
- I CAN choose what I become
- I CAN do this
- Limits exist ONLY in my mind
- My past experiences and current circumstances does NOT define me
- I HAVE the courage to turn negative thinking into positive thoughts and actions.
- I HAVE the power to create my life experience
- Today is my opportunity to become a BETTER version of myself
- I am not ashamed of my mistakes because they made me a BETTER person
- Today I CHOOSE to transfer this negative energy into something amazing
“It’s the repetition of affirmations that leads to belief. And once that belief becomes a deep conviction, things begin to happen.” Muhammad Ali.
Stay Positive
Be Mindful
And Get Your Shit Together!
xx Kate
10 thoughts on “Get Your Shit Together And Regain Control Of Your Life In Just 5 days!”
Thanks, I needed to hear that… the problem is I always get stuck on number 3, and this year at least, things have come up faster than I can deal with them.
“things have come up faster than I can deal with them” - I can totally relate to this… I hope you’re doing fine and I wish you all the best! I know it may sound bizarre but cleaning my house while listening to music helped me to cleanse myself of negative energy and clear my mind during the worst moments of my life. Because when you feel lost, depressed or incredibly anxious you need to distract a bit from your current situation and cleaning the clutter, listening to some good music and watching your favorite shows always seems like a good idea. But the most important thing to do is to allow yourself to process and experience your feelings. It takes time, effort and patience but it’s worth doing. Besides, it’s the only way to find your inner peace (at least in my humble opinion) I hope it makes sense. If you need to talk or share your story please feel free to write to me! Take care!
Thank you for your concern. Basically, I’m a teacher, so there are always a billion things to juggle. But for the last six months or so, I’ve had a lot of major home repairs to deal with. I was living in the guest room/game room for four months while my normal bedroom was being fixed, and a lot of that time was trying to reach an actual human being at the insurance company who actually responded to messages, which was way more difficult than it should have been. And a lot of other things came up while I was dealing with that, including one night when both of my toilets stopped working, unrelated and in different ways, within an hour of each other. And in addition to that, I have an ongoing project in the yard that needs a lot of work, and I have a lot of clutter that I don’t have anywhere to put. But on the bright side, I’ve learned a lot about what to do if the same thing happens in the future. And some of that clutter I can probably get rid of; I don’t know if I should just throw it away, though.
Totally understand! Home repairs can cause serious stress, anxiety, and irritability. Even a small home remodel can really turn our life upside down. That’s why every single time when I have to repair or remodel something in my apartment I prepare myself mentally and physically so it becomes less of an issue. But, on a positive note, it’s a great excuse to treat yourself with your favorite dessert, long relaxing bath or solo date! You deserve some fun and good rest! Talking about the clutter, it’s funny how much stuff we find during a home renovation or moving out. Some of that stuff we didn’t even know that we had… In such moments I use the “Rule Of Three”, I write down all that stuff I don’t have anywhere to put and I divide it into three categories: 1. stuff that I like and I don’t want to get rid of 2. stuff that has cost me too much to get rid of (and them buy them again in the near future) 3. stuff that I hasn’t used for ages and I can easily give it away, donate or sell. I may not be an easy thing to do but at the same time, it’s a great way to realize how great importance we attach to material things. So basically applying this “Rule Of Three”, you’re not only decluttering your external personal space but also your mind and mental space. I hope it makes sense! Take care and don’t forget to treat yourself!!
My biggest problem is I don’t know where to donate stuff I don’t need anymore… a lot of places seem to say they won’t take it. Okay, I didn’t want to just throw this stuff away, I tried, but whatever…
And what about friends and family? Have you considered to give some of the stuff you don’t need anymore to them? That’s always a good option. I usually do that. It’s an opportunity to give a second life to your stuff! What do you think?
That is a good idea. Many of my friends wouldn’t wear the same size clothes, and the clothes I don’t need anymore usually aren’t in any shape to give away. I’m not sure what to do with, say, torn clothes other than throw them in the garbage, though. I probably also just need to be less afraid to throw away things I will definitely never need again.
I totally get it! We don’t even realize how much we are attached to material things until we have to get rid of some old, unused or even broken stuff. It’s incredible! For many years I’ve had the same problem. Every time I had to throw away or give away some old stuff I felt so incredibly uncomfortable, almost afraid of doing so. (I felt like I was doing something wrong 😂) I think it must have something to do with being afraid of change where getting rid of old stuff is a symbol of that change. Maybe I am wrong but it’s the only logical explanation I can find. But material things are just material things. Of course some of them we need because they just make our daily life much easier but when we surround ourselves with too much stuff we become more distracted by the things with no true meaning. I am a big fan of living a minimalist lifestyle because it makes me grounded and helps me to focus on important things in life but still, I have trouble with getting rid of old unused stuff or resisting the temptation of buying completely unnecessary stuff sometimes. It’s a never-ending challenge, a journey to self-improvement! 😀
Definitely need to get my shit together, I’d say it’s a constant work-in-progress but sometimes I think it’s just a beautiful mess I’m never going to sort out 😂 Fantastic tips as always, and I love that you’ve included different aspects of life, from breathing to help mental health, to physical space; it all adds up and it’s important to break it down and look at all the facets of your life if you’re going to properly get your shit together. Nicely done, Kate xx
It’s not “a beautiful mess” it’s “creative chaos” 😁. At least that’s what I keep telling myself every time I feel out of control in life. I guess some people are naturally drawn to chaos… and I am definitely one of them. But probably the most beautiful and inspiring moment is when this wild and unpredictable chaos fosters creativity and generates fresh ideas and you get inspired… And instead of waiting for the perfect moment, the perfect time, a particular opportunity you can use this chaos to your advantage. I’ve had a really tough day today, nothing absolutely nothing went according to plan and all I wanted to do was to sit and cry but instead, I started to clean my house while listening to my favorite angry 😁 music and it helped a bit. Then I had to do a HIIT workout, go for a walk and treat myself with some delicious gelato… and again it helped a bit… now I’m eating another gelato and talking to my cat about her problems… So basically I spend my whole day getting my shit together and I don’t regret it.
“You can’t control everything. Sometimes you just need to relax and have faith that things will work out. Let go a little and just let life happen.” ― Kody Keplinger
Take care Caz!! Thank you for making my day AGAIN!!