de-stress
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Anxiety is a Big Fat Liar
Well, so it happened. The thing that you were afraid the most has just happened. You got stuck in life. Everything seemed fine. You felt pretty confident moving through the maze of your life slowly but consequently reaching your goals until you hit the dead end. And now, you’re sitting alone in your room staring at the wall and desperately trying to figure out what to do next. Frantically searching for a solution to the worst problem you could possibly have you feel more and more terrible. And this is how you went from bad to worse within a couple of seconds.
Hold it there, that’s far enough. Stop this cycle of negative self-talk. Close your eyes and take a couple of deep slow and deep breaths. Focus on here and now. Stop overanalyzing the past and worrying about the future because it will get you no-where but more anxiety. Anxiety talking with the mouth of your inner critic is telling you big fat lies. You don’t need to hear that. STOP. Right there and breathe. Don’t think just breathe. Inhale, exhale, repeat. Explore the Breath. Use your breathing to fuel relaxation and observe how this simple technique calms you down.
Understanding the problem itself brings out the solution.
Now when you feel a little more inner peace and calmness you are ready to go to the next step which is not jumping to the solution but paying attention to things happening around you. So take a pen and a piece of paper and start writing. Start writing to understand your emotions in a useful way. Ask yourself why you got stuck in life? Is there any particular reason you feel that way? Focus on the experience of being stuck. Don’t quickly jump to a solution before you fully understand what you’re feeling right now. Pay attention to your true reality, to the present moment through your thought, emotions, and behavior. Don’t rush it. This is where self-reflection and introspection take place. Focus on the present moment. So take the time to reflect your life. Get a good overall picture of events and their relationship to your feelings. Be honest with yourself. Don’t stress out. Don’t try to desperately find a solution before you fully understand the problem itself. Know what you’re dealing with first. Ask yourself what is really going on. What makes you feel stuck? Are you going through some difficulties in your personal life? Maybe you’re struggling with a chronic illness? Maybe you’re currently facing problems with your boss or co-workers? Maybe you’re feeling numb and uninspired by your work. Maybe you’re just tired and extremely unmotivated because you haven’t been on a vacation for a long time. Or maybe you’re just no longer happy with where you are in life and you just need a change. Ask yourself where or how in your life are you stuck? Explore your feelings and thought to identify why you’re feeling this way. Understand your emotions in a useful way. Describe your experience of feeling stuck. Listen to your inner narrative and write it down. Free your body and mind from unpleasant feeling and unwanted intrusive thought. Journal to gain clarity of your mind. Don’t try to find the solution before you know what the problem is. There’s no shortcut. Focus on your experience of being stuck. Find the source of your problem to be able to come up with a proper solution.
Now when you’ve made sense of your experience of being stuck let’s move to the powerful game-changing tips to get unstuck.
DISCLAIMER:
There is no secret recipe or magic formula to do this but there are certainly some useful tips and actions you may consider to take in order to get out of the funk and here there are:
anxiety lies to you
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Infuse your life with action. Don't wait for it to happen. Make it happen. Make your own future. Make your own hope. Make your own love. And whatever your beliefs, honor your creator, not by passively waiting for grace to come down from upon high, but by doing what you can to make grace happen... yourself, right now, right down here on Earth.
1. It’s Time For A Change
Your experience of being stuck may be a sign that you need a change, that things in your life need to change. Because if you do the same exact things in the exact same order every single day sooner or later you will get stuck in rut. That’s not weird at all. Actually, it is quite easy to predict. If every day looks exactly the same as the last and you can easily predict how your next morning, week or even month will look like you will falling into a dull pretty comfortable but incredibly boring pattern. We are creatures of habit and routine. We find comfort with regularity and consistency. Healthy habits help us increase productivity, achieve more in less time and reach our long-term goals. Not to mention that having a good routine gives us this sense of having control we need so much to avoid the worst existential nightmare – the uncertainty. However, it is all also true that if we live our life on autopilot the predictability of life becomes scary. And I mean really scary. There is no excitement, joy, fun, pleasure or fulfillment in the repetitiveness and monotony. Sometimes we need to change things up a bit to try something new and bring more excitement into our daily life.
So if you want to break up the monotony you need to switch from auto to manual. In other words, you have to switch off your autopilot mode and activate your creative mode.
If doing the same things, meeting the same people and you’re just sick of your everyday experience it means that you need a change. Shifting your life could be a great and beneficial thing for you especially if you’re no longer happy with where you are in life.
So shift, change, bring new exciting things in your life. It can be anything. Even a small change counts. Get out of your comfort zone, shift your mindset and try something new every single day. If you feel stuck it means that you reach the dead-end in the maze of your life so take a step back to look at the big picture, shape your perspective, change direction and take a different path. Change is needed in life. And it’s always a great idea to try some new, exciting stuff. Since you’re stuck in a rut that making you extremely unhappy and insanely anxious, you’ve got nothing to lose but everything to gain.
stop labeling people
" data-medium-file="https://i0.wp.com/holisticlifebykate.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/08/realitycheck.jpg?fit=300%2C200&ssl=1" data-large-file="https://i0.wp.com/holisticlifebykate.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/08/realitycheck.jpg?fit=800%2C534&ssl=1" data-lazy-sizes="(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px" srcset="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7">2. Give Yourself A Reality Check
The way you perceive your true reality depends on what narrative you chose to describe it. Which basically means that the storytelling you create to make sense of your current situation affects directly your state of mind and personal well-being. So if you chose dramatic storytelling to describe “what’s going on here” you will feel anxious, hopeless and just awful even if nothing particularly tragic has happened. Sound crazy, right?
Feeling stuck in life it’s just a feeling and feelings are not facts. Furthermore, most of the time they’re even not true. Our mind loves to play tricks on us by mixing together thoughts, beliefs, opinions, and facts without labeling them properly which makes us believe that everything that this little voice in our head tells us is true. But it’s not. That’s why it is crucial to separate feelings from facts. ALWAYS. You have feelings you’re not your feelings. The same thing with thoughts. You have thought you’re not your thoughts.
But if you start thinking that you are your feelings instead of having them you will become “stuck”. Feelings are kinds of restored views our reality. That’s why you need to give yourself a reality check from time o time. The easiest way to do that is to write down everything you have in mind and then separate your feelings and thoughts form facts. Ask yourself what you can and can’t control? What is your true reality? And remember that just because you feel stuck in life it does not mean you’re stuck. Sometimes all you have to do to move forward is to change your strategy just a little bit. If you can’t achieve your goal with one method chose a different method. Change something. Anything. Sometimes a small change can make a big difference. Change your strategy and get unstuck immediately. Start with the right mindset. Use a positive narrative to describe your current situation and get inspired by your own words. Trust me positive self-talk that will give you guts!
talk about your struggles
" data-medium-file="https://i0.wp.com/holisticlifebykate.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/02/compatibility2-scaled.jpg?fit=300%2C200&ssl=1" data-large-file="https://i0.wp.com/holisticlifebykate.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/02/compatibility2-scaled.jpg?fit=1024%2C683&ssl=1" srcset="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7">3. Talk It Out
Well, in my personal opinion, there is no better way to free yourself from this internal pressure that overthinking and overanalyzing creates than by talking to someone you can trust. If you’re overly concerned about a situation or problem your mind and body go into overdrive as you desperately try to find a solution before you fully understand the problem itself. In consequence, these feelings of exaggerated worrying, chronic anxiety, and extreme internal tension make you feel even more stuck.
So instead of worrying about your problems and creating different worse case scenarios talk to someone. Free yourself from this internal tension by speaking about your struggles. Talk about your experience of being stuck with your family friends, co-workers or even neighbours.
Talking to someone about your struggles is a great opportunity to release stress and tension from your body, refresh your thinking, gain a new point of view and in consequence look at your problem from a completely different perspective. People are around you for a reason. Don’t be afraid to ask for help if you need it.
Maybe your problem is not as big as you think? But you fall into the trap of overthinking which makes you completely unable to stay rational. So instead of excessive worrying or inventing terrible scenarios that might happen just talk to someone. Talk to your family, friends, co-workers or even neighbours – these people are in your life for a reason. And if you feel you have no one to talk to about your struggles consult a therapist most of them offers online counselling or find a forum or online community. There are so many chats or online communities that people created to talk about their problems and share their struggles. And as soon as you talk to others about your experience of feeling stuck you will notice that many other people feel or felt the same way and they surely have some great tips to give you!
Talking to others can help you tremendously so don’t throw this chance away.
Sometimes even talking out loud to yourself when nobody’s around can help you to gain a new perspective on your current situation. Because when you talk out loud about your feelings, struggles and problems help you to understand them clearly and distinctly. And once you come to the realization, finding a solution becomes quite easy.
4. Listen To Your Gut
We think of feeling stuck as a rather unpleasant experience. The truth is that we feel this way because our subconscious mind is trying to tell us something. The sensations you experience at a certain moment are intended to provide you with a lead of what you should do to make things work again. When you have certain feelings, good or bad you need to realize that they happen to you for a reason. To find that reason you need to delve deep and drive out something in you that you need in this particular moment. Furthermore, the feelings that you have won’t go away until you find out what they’re trying to tell you.
We have this tendency to label our feelings and emotions as “good” or “bad” on a basis of how they affect our thinking and of course, we try to red rid of those negative ones as soon as possible. Because who likes to feel bad? A rhetorical question, I guess.
But the truth is that emotions play a crucial role in our lives and without them, we wouldn’t be able to make decisions, avoid danger, experience happiness or create an authentic human connection with others. Emotions we have, tell us a lot about the situation we’re in and they won’t go away until we acknowledge, accept and embrace their real nature. They won’t magically disappear only because we don’t like them. But they will stop hunting you if you let yourself experience them without trying to suppress, reject or deny them.
So instead of resiting of what your body is trying to tell you, delve deep into this experience, accept your emotions and work through them to find the reason why they happen. Listen to your gut. Focus on what your body is trying to tell you and use it to navigate your life wisely. Use your emotions, good and bad to your advantage. Use your emotions as your guidance system. Delve deep into your experience.
So if you’re feeling stuck instead of desperately trying to find the solution, focus on your experience. Let yourself fully experience “being stuck”. Know what you’re dealing with. Identify the problem to be able to address it properly.
Read These Posts And Unlock Your Full Potential:
- The science of motivation - 10 powerful ways to stay insanely motivated HERE
- 10 questions to unlock your creative potential HERE
- 10 simple ways to bring Mindfulness into your daily life HERE
- The ultimate way to overcome procrastination and become a highly productive person HERE
- 8 powerful habits for balance in your daily life HERE
- 5 steps to success in achieving your goals HERE
- 44 essential rules for a happy life HERE
5. Be Mindful
Feeling stuck is just a feeling that comes to us for a specific purpose and goes as soon as we understand it. It’s not magic but a natural phenomenon in the human body that happens in a certain moment of our life to make us delve deeper and explore our consciousness. Just think of it as an indicator designed to help you challenge yourself in ways you may not have thought of before. So instead of beating yourself up for having this feeling as a sign that you need a life change. Whether is about making a big change or just small adjustments in your life, feeling stuck means that you reach the dead end and now it’s time to change direction because there is some amazing new path just waiting for you to take it. So instead of indulging in negative self-talk that can only lead to more stress, anxiety and frustration be mindful. Use mindfulness approach and observe this feeling without judging it. Feelings are like clouds, they flow in and out of your life if you allow them instead of fighting with them. So be mindful. Accept feeling stuck as a momentary sensation. Allow yourself to feel the way you feel. Try to fully experience this sensation, learn from it, change a bit your direction and move on. Let go and free yourself.
create space for the new
" data-medium-file="https://i0.wp.com/holisticlifebykate.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/08/ratrace.jpg?fit=300%2C200&ssl=1" data-large-file="https://i0.wp.com/holisticlifebykate.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/08/ratrace.jpg?fit=800%2C534&ssl=1" data-lazy-sizes="(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px" srcset="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7">6. Escape The Rat Race
- Are you a human being or human doing?
- Are you living on autopilot constantly making unconscious automatic decisions or you’re trying to navigate your life with mindfulness?
- Are you living your life or just surviving it?
- Are you aligning goals with your life purpose or just chasing someone else’s dreams?
If you’re wondering why I am asking you these questions is because we often feel stuck in life when we constantly repeat the same old pattern (imposed on us by others) instead of realizing our vision. We are participating in this “rat race”, constantly comparing ourselves, our achievements, our challenges, our experiences to others wasting our time and energy. Not to mention that this comparison trap causes this never-ending feeling of not being good enough. Because there is simply no end to the cycle. And the truth is that you don’t need to go through your life in a prescribed way. You really don’t have to live the life everyone else is (or seem to be) living. Don’t try to satisfy other people’s expectations because you will lose (or waste) your chance to create the best possible life for yourself. Stop pursuing perfection and someone else’s dreams. Instead, identify your life purpose and take intentional action to fulfill it. Escape the rat race, uncover your passions and embrace your authentic self. Own who you are and get unstuck.
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7. Create A Vision
So you reached the dead-end of the maze of your life. You just sit in your room looking at the wall and trying to suppress this awful feeling of being stuck but it’s not working. Have you considered that maybe it’s time to look at the big picture and create a vision for your life? We too often focus on details putting too much meaning behind them. The truth is that feeling stuck is just a feeling and like any other feeling, it will pass. But before it will happen you need to focus on the big picture. Are you having a clear vision of what you want in life?
Having a clear vision is crucial for success in both professional and personal life. You need to identify your destination first to be able to choose the right path. Otherwise, you will be going in circles with no purpose. Your vision is your life guidance, a life compass that will help you to move forward in the right direction. Of course, you don’t need to have everything figured out to the last detail but you should create a clear vision of what you want in life in order to achieve it. Having a clear destination in sigh will help you to avoid confusion and align your goals with your purpose. So I guess, it’s a win-win situation! So if you reach the dead-end in your life and you feel stuck just take a step back and look at the big picture. Ask yourself what you want to achieve. Where are you headed? Think of what you want to achieve in life, write it down (or design it) and make your vision come true!
Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.
8. Take An Intentional Action
What is the opposite of feeling stuck? Taking action. It may seem a bit confusing especially because this stuckness is the effect of not knowing what to do. Fair enough, but here’s the deal. When you feel stuck you most probably feel unmotivated, uninspired, hopeless and at a complete loss. But the truth is that you will never get out of that funk if you keep sitting in your room and feeling sorry for yourself. To get out of that funk you need to take an action. Otherwise, you will stay where you are just feeling blah. Well, that’s an awful prospect, isn’t it?
So if you feel stuck my advice is to take some intentional action. Release the expectations of now knowing what the outcome of your life is and take one step forward. Literally, move your b*tt and do something. It can be anything. Just get yourself in motion and do it intentionally. Go for a walk, do some quick workout, listen to a motivational podcast, watch inspiring Tedtalks, dance to your favorite song, DIY something and get creative.
Just stop overthinking and overanalyzing everything because it only makes you feel more stuck. Stop your negative thoughts from eating you alive. Instead, get yourself in motion and get inspired by your own action. Stop waiting for motivation, create it. Here and now.
There is this huge misconception about the motivation that creates action, but it’s actually the other way around. It’s an action that creates motivation. Furthermore, the more you do the more motivated you become. It happens because the moment you start to notice your accomplishments your appetite for success growths. And what happens? Well, you find yourself again.
So stop looking for excuses. Just move your b*tt. Accept that you don’t need to have everything figured out in life to take an action. You can create an amazing outcome without knowing exactly what you want to achieve. Life is an experiment you never know what results your actions will have but if you stay where you are you will never move forward and you will only get more and more stuck. So stop focusing on how and when your dreams will come true, just focus on here and now. And now you have to get unstuck and the only way to do that is to make yourself in motion. So stop indulging in this negative self-talk and take some action. It does not have to be something spectacular but it has to be something different from what you’re doing right now.
If you move, you’re not stuck - just keep this mindset. It sounds cliché, I know but it works. And remember that every step forward is a step in the right direction.
Stay Positive
Be Mindful
Get unstuck and create an epic life
xo Kate
An epic method to get unstuck immediately
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2 thoughts on “Feeling Stuck? Try These Smart & Powerful Tips to Get Unstuck Immediately and Start Living an Epic Life.”
Another amazing, spot-on post, Kate! I like that you’ve included how our emotions are all important and serve a purpose, because we do tend to label feelings good/bad and feel the need to ‘get rid’ of the bad ones rather than experience them (which is a recipe for disaster). I’ve been feeling incredibly stuck lately and sometimes it’s because you need a rest and that chance to dig deep and figure where to go from here. Brilliant suggestions for getting out of the rut and unstuck!
Caz xx
Hi Caz!! I totally agree with you. Sometimes we feel stuck only because we’re just tired and in those moments even a small break can be extremely helpful. I really think that we give too much attention to things that don’t matter or are just not as important as we believe they are. The truth is that we create meaning behind everything that happens. The same situation can be described in many different ways. But if you choose to see only negatives nothing positive will happen. That’s for sure. (been there done that). But if you chose to use difficult times to your advantage you will see how much control over your life you really have. (that’s insane!). The truth is we all have MUCH MORE control over our lives than we even realize.
Today I woke up feeling just blah but instead of indulging in negative self-talk I decided to get my sh*t together. I said to myself, Kate you can still make today beautiful. So I put one of my favorite songs (Wonderwall by Oasis) to distract myself from my negative self-talk and my mood changed immediately. Which makes me think that we always have a choice. We just tend to forget about that. Life itself is very difficult so we really don’t have to overcomplicate it. Feelings are just feelings. They come and go just like clouds in a windy sky. (that’s why I believe that for example „love” is not an emotion BUT a conscious choice, but that’s a completely different topic).
Now when I feel stuck, which happens often, I take intentional action, nothing extravagant, just a simple action. I go for a walk to change my environment for a while, I listen to my mood-boosting playlist (that’s what Spotify is for!), watch some Ted talk or one episode of one my favorites tv shows and it helps. If it works for me it will work for anybody. Take care Caz and keep up the good work!! Your experience is much richer than you think!